The lowdown

I read somewhere recently (and now can’t find the quote) that when tempted to compare ourselves to other people, we should remember that we only ever see their showreel while we see our own ‘behind the scenes’.

I always have a slightly uneasy feeling that Facebook and blogs encourage this type of comparison: we write about the best bits, the beautiful bits and gloss over the bad bits.  Of course, family albumns have always recorded the edited highlights of family life.  Infact, if, like me, you are more likely to focus on the negative than the positive, than photos and writing are important to remind us of the good stuff.  I like to look back through photos and give thanks for the precious, beautiful life I have been given.

Anyway.  Today was not a great day.  I have decided to record it because days like this happen, but, I remind myself, they do not happen all the time.  What went wrong?  Maybe signing Daniel up for a week of football classes that he has no interest in participating in is part of it.  We both end up frustrated: me, because I want him to enjoy it, him because he does not want to be there.

Booking an appointment for Daniel with the nurse and going today only to find out they have booked him in for next week certainly did not help (more frustration: 45 minutes of sleep lost for Kirsten and a wasted journey.)  Going to the park and Daniel arguing with his friend from the moment we arrive.  Having another mother tell my son off for throwing sand.  (Oh, so many levels of frustration in that: mainly with the sand throwing in the first place.  But also with the losing face and the disappointment with my child; yes, it made me feel like a a bad mother.)  And to finish: getting caught in a thunderstorm in the park, fifteen minutes walk from the car.

Not a good day.  So much learning to do.  As I write, I look back and have to tell myself: a bad day, but not a disaster; not a bad child; not a bad mother.  And a good end: both children now fast asleep.  Maybe we are all just a little exhausted.  We’ll take it easy on ourselves tomorrow.

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I started blogging after the birth of my first child. Since I stopped working, I realise I am defined far more by my relationships than by what I do. So, I am: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.

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